The Yankee swap shindig you've been invited to is fast approaching. Your budget is tight, yet you're eager to add the ingredient of hilarity to the swapping frenzy by giving a gift that will certainly have the mob belly-up, gasping for air.
With playful creativity you can economically concoct a gift that will astonish the onlookers, as well as the patsy who will ultimately become the butt of your joke.
As a tributary to your drive I have compiled a host of ideas for you. All of which range from cautiously comical to down right risque. All the items listed can be easily had for under $15.00.
Warning: Carefully consider the level of what is "acceptable amusement" among those attending the party. Your contribution this year, just may be recycled back to you next year.
CAUTIOUSLY COMICAL - But sure to cause brouhaha!
* Put two AA batteries in a zip-lock baggie with a note that reads: "Gift not included".
* Gather a couple handfuls of straw, throw it into a zip-lock bag with a note that reads: "Straw-hat, assembly required".
* The same can be done with saw dust except the note should read: "Expert jigsaw puzzle".
* Wrap up a Mr. Goodbar and a Whatchamacallit candy-bar together with a note that reads: "DNA test results".
* Wrap a box with absolutely nothing inside except a note that reads: "What's in it for you?"
* Wrap up an electric shock pen and a blank piece of paper with a note that reads: "Draw your own conclusion".
* Put one single grain of salt in yet another plastic baggie with a note that reads: "If insulted, eat this".
Feel free to wrap up any unwanted item you have stashed away in a junk drawer, then think up a clever statement to accompany your gift.
SLIGHTLY MORE DEPRAVED - Yet still under budget.
* Did you know you can buy spoof U.S quarters? You can indeed! For under $7.00 your recipient can come apart at the seems after opening the coin of your choice. Just visit http://www.prankplace.com/statequarters.htm and make your comical selection.
* At the same website, you can also choose from a variety of T-shirts fronting side-splitting logos such as; "333 - I'm only half evil".
* Something homemade you can do is build a pair of house slippers out of Maxi-pads. The recipe calls for four Maxi-pads. As you can imagine, you bend and attach one Maxi-pad to the flat Maxi-pad, assembling a slipper. Then decorate to your liking - Don't forget to including the size, such as, "Heavy flow".
* Wrap up a roll of Lifesavers with a note reading: "For your oral pleasure".
* How about "The Mourning After" repair kit? The kit could include these items and more: A jelly bean with the word "oops" written on it, the bottom half of two beer cans held together with elastic to form a pair of goggles, drawn up annulment papers, or even a stick of Herpecin.
* What's a party without condiments? I mean ... stuff a condom full of those chalky little mints and label it for your recipient - "Condom-mints".
DOWN RIGHT RUTHLESS - Be sure you want to "go there"!
Here are some ideas from funideas.com ...
* A slightly "brassy" bumper sticker for the not-so-easily offended.
* Who wouldn't appreciate a squatting lawn gnome in their garden, or the all too hilarious inflatable sheep?
* For $5.00 you could even grant someone the opportunity to "grow" a significant other - even if it is in a bottle.
* Of course if you so desire, there is always the lewd shaped pasta.
There is nothing more medicating than laughter. However, in your creativity it is necessary to exercise caution when attending a Yankee swap. Although the gift is anonymous, use tact that is consistent amongst the majority of party goers. If you are not sure of the level of humor that is appropriate, then err on the side of caution. Otherwise - Live, Laugh, and Laugh more.